A Slight Deviation of The Standard Script

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain's speaking.  On behalf of everyone in the crew, I'd like to once again welcome you on board this flight bound for Hong Kong. The local time in Hong Kong is 7 hours ahead and we should be able to touch down at 15:23 local time, depending on the headwind - and assuming I decide to go there. 

We've just hit our cruising altitude of 11,000 feet. I've switched off the fasten seat-belt sign, which means you are now free to move about the cabin. However, for your own safety, please have it fastened while seated, in case we encounter any unexpected turbulence or I decided to jerk the joystick back and forth.  It can get terribly bored up in the cockpit, if you don't know.  

Please do note the "no smoking" sign will forever remain on throughout the flight, in compliance with FAA regulations. You may not smoke in the lavatories and federal law prohibits tampering with the smoke detector too.  Feel free to eat loudly, though. That isn't a federal crime. Not yet!  

But please also note FAA regulations require passengers to follow the instructions of the flight crew at all times. So if I make up something, but don't have a light with an icon of that action, you still have to do it. There's no way I can think of a light for everything I might want you to do, you know!  

Flight attendants, 2 dirty martinis right away to the cockpit please."

It is an exaggerated babble you won't hear in real life (I hope), but the point is, I don’t care how well-groomed the flight attendants are, how expansive the food menu, how chilled the champagne or how big the flat bed, the reason I’ve paid to fly on this particular carrier is safety and a polished service record. 


I don't know about you, if I can't find the confidence in what the captain is saying, then all that money invested in advertising, slick paint jobs and a bulging order book for new aircraft means precious little.

“Good evening ladies and gentleman. This is your captain speaking, and welcome to this Cathay Pacific flight bound for Hong Kong.”

While there was nothing particularly reassuring in this standard script, it was the plummy confidence of a British captain who sounded as if he has flown a G6, allowed me to just sit back and let him take me to wherever that destination I needed be.