The Lonely Apple With A Mission

I still remember the day when I was selected from a bunch of others, felt a notch special, wanted, and distinctively segregated from the rest.  The next I knew, I was transported to another camp before I met with a bunch of familiar faces who have all been shortlisted to travel.

It was a bumpy ride, totally pitch-dark and awfully crowded, nothing quite close to first-class travel but it was alright.  They say it is always the journey that counts, and fair to say, I was too busy minding my own mission:  I was going to change somebody's life - loud and proud.  

I could still recall vividly the very skillful hand that picked me, the same hand that brought me home.  Home to me - has always been cosy but I would say it was rather spacious on day 1 until I woke up the next day and found a few new friends: the relatively small-built G. Kiwi brothers - Golden and Green;  a friendly chap named Orange and a not-so-friendly, uppish lady with a gorgeous smell nonetheless, named Mango.  

We all got along pretty harmoniously until 2 days later, stingy Mr. Pineapple and the almighty Durian decided to join the bandwagon.  Didn't leave us with much room to manoeuvre after their occupancy as one would imagine, and that was when frictions and conflicts began.  Everyone tried to flex their muscles and emerged just that bit taller and more convenient than the rest of the pack.  I wasn't too bothered, I chose to stay low because I was too busy minding my own mission:  I was going to change somebody's life - no matter what.  

Last-in, first-out - we learned that's how the world has been operating isn't it, at least it applies to the airline's baggage claim systems anyway. Mr. Durian came last and was the first to be chosen.  The next day was uppity Mango followed by good old Orange.  I continued to stay low profile, not that I wanted to, but dear Pineapple was shielding me from most of the day light anyway.  The next morning came and Kiwi brothers went, and so as Pineapple. 

Why wasn't I the chosen one?  

Isn't there anybody out there who loves me?  

Just when I was reciprocating my own echoes, I discovered a few bruises on my waistline and one big bruise at the top too.  Goodness gracious, when did that happen?   I shan't be chosen.  I can't let them do that.  I wanted to be the first they picked, but I know it was all too late then.  

"Please don't pick me...." I shouted with all my might, yet the boy couldn't hear.  

"Oh mother, the apple doesn't look good enough to eat, don't think I should have it," said the boy.

"Do me a favour and chuck it into the bin please, would ya? " said the boy's mother.  

Just as I thought that was the trashy end of it all, the fact that I would be rotting to death with some garbage I refused to communicate with - namely plastic bottles and chicken bones, a bright beam of light was shone and I was picked up by a hand with short but strong fingers.  Immediately - half of me was gobbled down - in I went into a hungry man's oesophagus.  

Living has meaning when you have something to do; someone to love and something to look forward to.  

Apple waited for how many days?  Six, I think.  

That was her mission completed with contentment - she did changed somebody's life at the end.  

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

I bummed into a friend today and I appreciated how very casually she reacted when I told her I am no longer in the cafe business - only after getting my feet wet for 9 months. 

I mean, it was probably just me feeling a bit embarrassed stating the very short-lived fact.  Me - appearing as if I started out towards a big goal, told the entire world I was all for it, then at the end, I didn't make it to the finishing line.

Guess what.  At any given point, I was allowed to change my mind.  And I did.

Just because I didn't reach the final goal of running it profitably, it didn’t mean I failed.  After all, I was the one who chose the goal in the first place.  It was arbitrary and no one could have stopped me from choosing a new goal halfway - and only when I was half way through, did I understand neither failure nor success was a destination I wanted.  It was all about making the right decision, at the right time and enjoying the moment and the outcome of being decisive.   

But then even though it was pretty darn obvious that making a big change at the seemingly right time seem beneficial and everything to be gained, it was tough making that choice.  I did worry.  I worried sick that the uncharted territory of the future was too much for me to behold.

And then I have another friend who told me she has started up her own business after god-knows how many years she has been pondering and that she felt absolutely amazingly relieved after she has made that decision.  I was so proud she did it and was real glad I constituted towards a tiny fraction of the ability to inspire her - despite my lack of success in running mine.   

If there's anyone out there sitting and waiting and totally freaking out in life because you are about to face something huge and unknown - tell you what - you should really be giving yourself more credit than that. I mean what's the worst case scenario that could happen to you?  Come on, it ain't that bad and I am sure you have enough courage to trust yourself and crush whatever that is clouding you. 

I did it.  And it opened doors to something brilliantly amazing.  I am so sure it can happen to you too - not if you ain't really giving it a go, there should be no stopping you. 

Stories

Everyone has stories.  And I believe each of us has compelling stories to tell that can make a difference.

Facebook says we can tell our stories with Timeline.  Fantastic.  You start seeing photos of your friends' graduation or wedding day got replaced by updates on what they just had for breakfast this morning.   Great invention!  

Facebook is still great, don't get me wrong.  The thing is, we have total autonomy on how we tell our stories.  Say you are catching up with an old friend – would you rather be interested that he had Egg Benedict this morning, or hear about his new dream job?  

Say you have had a rough day at work where literally everything could have gone wrong had gone wrong.    

When your emotional edge and resentment are your little demon friends, you chose to tell and post your story with:  

"I would not be feeling x, if y didn't happen." Or, more realistically, "I would not be feeling x, if so-and-so didn't do y." 

What this is, is like a projector screen of words convincing you of a story you are literally making up to yourself. Works you up to anger, exacerbates the pain and guaranteeing its survival.

To me, the purpose of telling your story of self is to create common ground with your audience by sharing a story that reflects the values that brought you to work on your given issue, and where those values come from.

Perhaps next time you can consider taking your frustrations to the bar and flush it down with a happy-hour drink or two.  

Do you think the keyboard can escape just like that?  

I don't think that's allowed.  

A Quantitative Self

With smartphones and some wonderful apps these days, it is fairly easy to get obsessed, and I am not talking about Candy Crush.  I am talking about Data Crunching.   

Heaps of it.  

Last month, I knew things had got out of hand.  Instead of hitting the town for a friend's birthday, I stayed at home and walked back and forth across my living room hoping the little exercise would make me feel less guilty about the amount of eating-out I have been doing.   It was probably for the best that I didn't go out for dinner and cocktails anyway, because according to the wonderful Account Tracker app that keep stabs on my finances, I am veering dangerously close to busting my monthly budget.  

And don't even go there with the ingenious Drinks Tracker, an app that racks up all the units I drink in a week.  It is making me feel like a really really bad person for pouring a third glass of wine on a Friday night.  I have had a boozy month and the bar chart on my app is alarmingly littered with red exclamation marks.  And so I logged on to Optimism, my Happiness Tracker and downgraded my mood from an eight to a fiver!

Are you lured?  If so, here's a list of useful quantified-self apps for your reference.  I have pretty much been there done that and at the end of the day, I know data does not matter, it is what I mine from it that does.   It is like those TV programmes about obese people when they lay out all the food they have eaten in a week and it really shocks them.  I have hence become more self conscious of what I do, eat and drink, which is very empowering indeed.  

I may have started walking more and eating, drinking, spending less, but frankly, I am ready to ditch my Nike Fuelband for now.  Stop counting and just start living and hopefully, back on jogging (no, I meant blogging) a bit more frequently.  

Signs, Signs, Everywhere

I am here to say this past month or so, the universe seems to have staged a parade full of bright neon signs, demanding my admiration. I always carry the world of inspirations with me, but rarely does the world speak so loudly.

Lately I see signs, everywhere I go.  And the most amazing thing is - they are always thrown right at your face, made sure you won't miss them (as if you desperately needed reminding).  And who likes to be told what to do anyway?  Especially the bold yet touchy feely ones like these, which I happen to just run across today. 

Funny what they do after you spotted them, is that they will silently creep into your subconscious, work their way into the heart, poke you every now and then with a pulse and a beat, "the best thing one can do in life is to be able to follow your own heart", stating the oblivion of ignoring the obvious.  

Then came the interesting battle between your heart and your conscience:


Heart: What if my life is NOT good and I like it that way?

Conscience: But the time to be happy is now.

Heart: If life is what we make it, then why does sh*t happen?

Conscience: Because life is a sacred journey.

Heart: Only if you follow your bliss.

Conscience: And never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.

The Lungs decided to join in the conversation to form a tangent: Good things are going to happen - only if you breathe.

The three of them could have gone on for hours, you get the gist.

I believe when we are true to ourselves and our destiny, the world spins its arms to us.   The universe will also whisper and send us signs we are capable of accepting, embroidered with possible opportunities and directions.  All we have to do is open our heart and listen.


Signs - literally and figuratively, are all around us whether you like it or not.

Grandma's Wisdom

For the longest time way past my adolescent days, I have been told chocolate milk was made from fresh milk that turned bad.  I was being steered away from drinking chocolate milk.  I have faithfully heeded that advice until Google confirmed they can't find a hit in the www!

Till this day I still want to throw salt over my right shoulder (or is it my left?) after knocking over the salt shaker because my house-mistress said it would keep evil spirits away.

Oh, and here's a good one - you will go blind if you sit too close to the television, or if you cross your eyes, they will stay that way.

You do know the above aren't true (I hope).   I mean if they are true, I do wonder what my house-mistress would say about the salty evil spirits I have consumed over the years! 

I can, however, think of a few instances where the good old-fashioned "grandma's wisdom" has proved to work miracles.  


Non-stop coughing

Rub Vicks VapoRub on the bottom of the feet, cover them with socks at bedtime, can stop the cough almost immediately.  

Alternatively, try shots of whiskey.  It won't kill the germs but my grandpa swore by it as the best readily available cough suppressant one can get.
   

Bloated Stomach

Apparently, gently massaging the skin along the collar bone will release gas by either small burps or if you are persistent enough, big belches will follow.  

Sore Throat

Gargle with salt water - a remedy that works economically sound. 

Ache & Pain

There is nothing quite like a good old fashioned hot water bottle to comfort and soothe those shoulder aches and back pains.

Do you have some of your favourite Old Wives’ Tales to share or tips from your granny that have seen the arc of life? 

What You Focus On Expands

There is an old saying, “What you focus on expands."

Have you noticed when you buy a car or...a pair of sneakers, you start noticing people driving, wearing the same model as you?

The same theory applies when we stared at every tick of the clock, the minute would always appear much longer than we thought.  

That is because we are hypersensitive when we focus on the very one thing we care.  It's all good if the thing in focus is a positive thing. 

I observed some Facebook friends of mine who would consistently use the same sort of vocabulary in their status updates.  

"Awful, terrible, horrible, sad, angry, pity."  You get the picture. 

Their daily drama revolves around their rather negative judgment of people and events that are, in their evaluation - awful or/and terrible.  Needless to say, their existence would also turn out to be resentfully sad as a result of their self-pity talk and projection. 

What you focus on expands.  And negative energy flows where negativity goes.


Another fine example - let's just say you are a "weigh-a-holics" and you weigh yourself daily at the very least.  You would be stepping on and off that bathroom scale of yours each morning several times in a minute, wishfully thinking that a lower figure might magically appear between your feet.  I wouldn't necessarily say you are insane because I happen to know a few including myself who do that religiously.  

I realised though, the morning weighing exercise can either make my day, or most of the time, break my day.  Two pounds can easily be vanished after a night of dehydration and the same can be added on after you ate a cow in your last meal!  Then I told myself, why let that affect my mental and emotional state of my day? 

If you look good, feel good and are in good health, who cares about a stupid number anyway?  If you are not, I trust your wits should know fairly well what ought to be done too. 

Positive energy flows where positivity goes.

Stay focus - only on the positives. 

Everyone's Internal Pharmacy

I woke up yesterday feeling really lousy, so I decided to just sit around in my bathrobe, didn’t brush, didn't shower, watched TV a little, and by mid-morning I felt much worse with pain here and there, totally lacking energy, so I virtually slept through the whole day. 

Today, I got up feeling under the weather again but decided I should find something more constructive to do while staying home. Off I went, groomed and changed, hooked up with my long lost computer to do some rusty blogging and by mid-morning I felt much better!

Why was this?
 

I think I have just discovered a perfect panacea of how attitude can affect us physically.

Once, everyone thought the reason you felt better was purely mental, but now I know that it’s also biochemical.

By engaging in behaviours of being well - showering, getting dressed and going out - I actually changed my body chemistry, which then brought myself to feeling a bit better.

It’s a combination of the power of the mind AND our internal pharmacy department that can make a stark difference to the well-being of our bodies.

I am so glad I have figured that one out nice and early and hoping to share my 2 cents here with you too.

They Certainly Didn't Teach Us That At School

As I was looking at the maps that spread across my dining table the other day when trying to pin down places I want to go in my next vacation, I thought, "wouldn't it be nice if there was a map of life" that could sort of guide us along our life's journey?

We do have to resign to the fact that things in life do not often go as planned despite our best intentions.  The thing is, our life has a way of teaching us lessons that we would never have learned otherwise.  Yup.  Definitely not learnt in school.   Some of life's lessons, unfortunately we would rather not have and some of what we learned we wish we never had to. 

If life were predictable and always within our grasps, we will never grow.  The solace is, we can choose to learn and grow from whatever life teaches us, no matter what! 

It is okay to look back once and a while and visit "pity city" for a short stay, but we have to leave it all behind and walk on without fearing the unknown before us. 

It's easier said than done no doubt, but hang in there my friend.  And don't forget you have all of us who supports you and your family on your life's uphill, downhill journeys in which we have all benefited so much from being part of the bandwagon.  We learned miracles can happen every now and then as well - as a MERCIFUL thrown-in bonus! 

Add oil - as we all like to say !

Double Standards

You disrespect that woman who has just jumped your queue and hopped on to what ought to be your taxi.

You disapproved your husband when he can't be swift enough to grab one when you were standing outside the shopping mall with an armful of shopping.

You looked down on those kids and questioned how they were brought up when none of them gave up their seats when an elderly boarded the train.

You didn't want your own kid to give up her seat after thinking how heavy her school bag was and what thought to be a long day for her at school. 

If your girlfriend asked you for a back rub and you said no, you are being termed as a real ***hole unless you have a very pressing matter you have to attend to.  You automatically assumed that by this logic, the same rule would apply both ways.  If you are an ***hole for not providing her with a manual release of tension, obviously, she would also be one if she turned you down when you asked for a manual release of tension.


I am of course just saying these hypothetically here to make you laugh (and think hopefully) but as you can easily imagine, the list can go on and on.

We are all human being and human being are flawed - understandably.

We finger-point at people, forgetting when we do so, we actually have 3 fingers pointing to ourselves!

Therefore, next time when throwing stones and boiling tar, make sure lest you get stoned and sticky yourself.

Met With AIDS Affected Orphans

I first came across Chi Heng Foundation (CHF) 2 years ago and have been extremely touched by their charitable aim in trying to help children in the rural part of mainland China who have at least one parent who is living with or has died of HIV/AIDS.

Before that, I always thought helping other people or any charitable institution for that matter would cost me a lot - financially, but very soon, I came to realise lending a hand to those who are in need doesn't have to be expensive at all. 

Today, I have been given a golden chance to meet with a few of the orphans - in which I regard as a great new year present to myself.

Back in the 90s, a blood donation tragedy occurred in China resulting in almost a million people in Henan province alone, being infected with AIDS. Now there are hundreds of thousands of AIDS orphans and Judy is one of them, whom I have spent most of the time today chatting with. 

He grew up in a small village in Henan province and his parents got infected with AIDS and Judy lost them since very young age.  Life after that for him, long story short, has been nothing but miserable.

Talking to him reflected how fortunate my life has been, but the most delightful thing was to be able to hear him speak of his own story of transformation.  How a boy who struggled to hold his head up has now become a university graduate (thanks to CHF's sponsorship).  He is all ready to earn a buck or two as an engineer, but he would rather deploy wisdom in action and help the underprivileged.

I have full respect for this youngster who is full of positivity and energy.  It is things like this which reminded us just how strong we really can be.  We were given this life because we are strong enough to live it.  

As Kelly Clarkson's new song says,


"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,
stand a little taller,
doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone."


So...do what you can, when you can!

Lucky To Have You Mom

Even though I am a grown adult, I realised it is still mother's advice that puts my indecisiveness at bay.

There are things that I don't ever dare tell her, but whenever I do need some advice on stuff, I can be rest assured to just knock on her door and talk, chat, speak, jabber, natter.

The fact that I have someone trustworthy that I can turn to is a truly a blessing. 

Go thank these people now, whether it is your folks or your friends.   Trust me, you don't want to leave it too late. 

Shooting Arrows In Life

My friend practises archery and I on the other hand, have scored ultra high in Wii Sports Resort, but have never tried picking up a real arrow nor a bow at all.   He was explaining to us about the basics of shooting arrows (the real ones), the stance, the technique, the pulling back, the letting go.

He said the letting go should be the most important bit - the energy, the focus and the goal are there but it is in letting go that the arrow reaches its target.

What he was saying was the need to focus intently, but to focus on the path and not on the destination!   

Such an ironic theory that was. 

I went home and thought about what he really meant.  A lot of the times we all failed in some aspects in life because we tried too hard in taking aim and totally missed out the point about perfecting the shot. 

No practical skills attained in that archery lecture after all, but the concept itself warranted a blog post here because I have one crucial pearl of wisdom to share - an achiever seizes more from life only when he or she has mastered the hang of - letting go. 


Pretty amazing what I can pick up from shooting some arrows!  I hope you do too. 

The Slightly Future Me?

Getting in touch with the inner wisdom we all have is a tricky business but could well be a good way to get a different perspective on the problem at hand. 

Who can say the reasons why things unfold the way they do?  I believe it all happens for a reason, even if I don't understand what that reason is now.  What I do know is that this experience, and others to lesser degrees, taught me to identify intuition and have respect for it.

People always say: trust your inner knowing because deep down, you know what is best for you.  That's by and large - intuition - something you just don't question. 

I always wonder if I could get an email from myself ten years from now, what advice might it have for the current me sent from the slightly future me?

I just hope if the gift of intuition comes and kindly offers to guide me, may I be awakened enough to hear and respect its voice loud and clear.

How Accurate Is Your Speedometer?

Speedometer -  a gauge that measures and displays the instantaneous speed - a standard piece of equipment you find in motor vehicles. 

These meters reflect the actual speed you are cruising at, you then let your mind decide whether you wish to slow down or pick up speed based on your judgements.  Many of us physically rely on those but as it happens, our very own speedometer buried in our head is often the one dominating the calibration of our every move. 

There are times when a virtual speedometer will just pop right up in front of me when I am in crossroads.  There will inevitably be moments when I would unintentionally put one leg pumping on gas, only to find out I have the other asserting pressure on the brakes at the same time. 

That just sounds so discoordinated does it not?  I am actually the one stopping myself from propelling and...I do not like the idiotic sound of it.

I realised may be it's about time to stop being stuck in second gear and utilise a higher gear - safely, comfortably and in control.  Must try ignoring the speedometer in me and run till the middle of my frustrated fears. 
 



Afterall, what really matters should be how fast we can go, not how fast the speedometer can take us, right?
 
 

Pause And Play

Anyone just can’t live an entire life on wishful thinking, it’s just not possible. 


Well, not entirely impossible, but impractical.  


I can’t win a game if I am not playing - as simple and as dumb as it may sound and I should know better.


Well rested by now.  I gotta be out there and...play. 

This "Show Off" Thing

I recently found myself sitting around a pool listening to someone talked about how she has too much money and too little time to spend it.

This conversation went against a rule I was taught as a child - a great piece of advice that my mother shared with us was 'never let anyone think that you are richer, more important or wiser than they are.   Even if any of those are true!'

If we were to go around bragging about how much money we earn and how well we are doing in our careers, unfortunately a lot of people would react negatively.  Instead of being happy for us, they would become jealous. So my mother was basically saying 'don't be a show off and you will always have friends on your side!' 

This inherited nugget of wisdom of hers basically teaches us how to be more charming.  Oddly enough though, no one else at the table seemed uncomfortable.  I began to wonder if perhaps my thinking is a bit old fashioned.

Stop bragging with your big head mate.  No one cares.  

How Would You Like To be Remembered?

Have you heard this story before?


Alfred Nobel, the inventor of dynamite, was reading the newspaper one morning when, to his shock, discovered his obituary inside.  It turned out that his brother had died, and the newspaper had published Alfred’s obituary by mistake. The obituary read,


“Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday.”


Nobel was rather taken aback by the way in which the world was going to remember him after his death. And it was due to this shock that he decided to set aside the bulk of his estate in order to establish the Nobel Foundation, which annually bestows international awards in recognition of cultural and scientific advances. 


Today, Nobel is not remembered as the merchant of death, but as the creator of the Nobel Prizes, as a great humanitarian.

I can't help but think if I'd be happy with the legacy that I have created if I die tomorrow - that is - if I have a legacy as such. 


You and I may not, but the relief is - we are not dead yet, right?

I Hear Procrastination Calling

I am staring blankly at my unfinished to-do list and the most painstaking thing is - the list has not been shortened at the end of a long day. 

I can hear voices calling from behind my head justifying why I am skipping my workouts, delaying my long overdue dental visit, excuses for not paying my folks a visit or not blogging even. 

And I wonder who has been making all that noise behind the scene.

Fear of failure?  Fear of success?  Not enough preparation or too much preparation?   Perfectionism?

No.  It's no one but the demon of procrastination calling. 

I need to do what I need to do - I need a noise-cancelling headphone to screen off all unnecessary frequency of distractions.

The clock is ticking.  You hear that?   

Ceiling Fan (Clockwise or?)

Have you ever wondered which way your ceiling fan should rotate in Winter and in Summer?   



You are not alone in this dilemma, for just as I was admiring these beautiful ceiling fans while waiting for my meal to arrive, I realised I keep forgetting this too, so I am blogging it to remind myself here.  


In summer, when it is hot, the ceiling fan should be rotating in a clockwise direction - Drawing or pushing air downward into the room to create a windchill effect.




In winter, the fan should rotate in an anti-clockwise direction - Warm air rises and gets trapped near the ceiling so when the ceiling fan direction is in reverse mode, it circulates the warm air from the ceiling to the floor where you need it most.  


Tada!