Walk Beside Him

Dear friend,

You have always been a bit chubby, wear a natural glow on your face, generally happy.  We met recently and you have become quite the contrary which prompted my immediate concern.   

"Do you think it is mid-life crisis?" you asked. 

I know if you can still tell jokes, you can't be feeling that bad.  What a relief.

As far as I can understand, you have been trying very hard to wear a couple of hats while juggling with several balls.  From being a responsible employee, a daddy's girl to a supportive wife and a pleasing daughter-in-law - ambitiously aiming to strike a chord all at once.  

Exhausted by the look of things because from what I gathered, you are dissipating your effort on things you can't control.

I say if there’s absolutely nothing you can do to impact the person or the situation, then it is probably best to leave it there.  It's a different story if you have will-power but you don't, right?  

There are so many important things in your life, in this world, that you can affect.  First and foremost - your own well-being is priority number one.  If you are unhappy, how can you expect people around you to be?

In your case, you have to swallow the fact that every family works differently and so when it comes to your husband's family matters, all you can do is to stand by your husband because whether you like it or not, you have chosen him to be your man.  Trust that he knows best and focus on what you can change, where you can have the most impact, make a difference, and let the rest go. 

I remember I once read something from Albert Camus' "The Stranger", which was a recommended read from you and I quote, 

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.  Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.  Just walk beside me and be my friend."

Give that a try.  I certainly hope to be seeing a happier and healthier you next time we meet.