A Game of Hide and Seek

It was hide and seek: A game we used to play, in which you enjoyed. 

It wasn't hard to understand why because I always let you find me: Our precious memories.  

You are not dead.  Just hiding. 

Life goes on.  And so as our gaming.  

On your birthday, let there be rain. 
so we can feel you once again.

Happy birthday son.

Walk Beside Him

Dear friend,

You have always been a bit chubby, wear a natural glow on your face, generally happy.  We met recently and you have become quite the contrary which prompted my immediate concern.   

"Do you think it is mid-life crisis?" you asked. 

I know if you can still tell jokes, you can't be feeling that bad.  What a relief.

As far as I can understand, you have been trying very hard to wear a couple of hats while juggling with several balls.  From being a responsible employee, a daddy's girl to a supportive wife and a pleasing daughter-in-law - ambitiously aiming to strike a chord all at once.  

Exhausted by the look of things because from what I gathered, you are dissipating your effort on things you can't control.

I say if there’s absolutely nothing you can do to impact the person or the situation, then it is probably best to leave it there.  It's a different story if you have will-power but you don't, right?  

There are so many important things in your life, in this world, that you can affect.  First and foremost - your own well-being is priority number one.  If you are unhappy, how can you expect people around you to be?

In your case, you have to swallow the fact that every family works differently and so when it comes to your husband's family matters, all you can do is to stand by your husband because whether you like it or not, you have chosen him to be your man.  Trust that he knows best and focus on what you can change, where you can have the most impact, make a difference, and let the rest go. 

I remember I once read something from Albert Camus' "The Stranger", which was a recommended read from you and I quote, 

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.  Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.  Just walk beside me and be my friend."

Give that a try.  I certainly hope to be seeing a happier and healthier you next time we meet. 

Thanks Miss Mocha

One thing good about running a cafe is you get to meet strangers from all walks of life and out of the plain ordinary, they can bring colours to yours and sometimes, be able to create self-reflection of our very own.  

There was this customer who came to my cafe last week, she has been here several times, always on her own.  That day, while sipping her usual Mocha, she started telling me about her worry of job security and the danger of losing her income and not being able to pay her bills nor buy the things she enjoys.  And then went on wringing her hands about not being able to find true love and be forever lonely.  

I must have somehow came across as downright friendly for her to dish all that out!  Though I must say, her situation reminded me of someone I know fairly well. 

I can't speak for everyone but I think many of us are wasting time on one common thing - worrying.  We often spend time worrying about unimportant things.  I do. I do get bent out of shape over tiny insults; agonise over silly decisions that won’t matter next week. 

We often spend more time worrying about what we are going to wear, where we want to eat or what we are going to say, than we do enjoying our meals, experiencing what we are doing or having the conversations.

I told the girl, if you are wasting time lamenting over a lack of love, or loss of love, then I am pretty sure you are not spending time paying attention to the people who are already present in her life.

She nodded as if she suddenly got it. 

I told her I have spent a considerable amount of time sitting and ruminating on the nature of my existence and anxiously projecting what could have been.  But I realised just in time, that my time would be much better spent focusing on the work at hand, paying a tad more attention to the people around me, and reveling in the experiences that are happening in this very moment in time - which has proved to have been very rewarding to me.  

To all of us, some planning is necessary, taking action mandatory, but worrying…should REALLY be optional.  

I am grateful to Miss Mocha for giving me that bit of a kind reminder.  Could have treated her that cup, but too bad she insisted paying, left us with a generous tip some more!  

I love my job.     

Terrible Twos, Sweet Sixteen, What Not?

I am looking at the calendar and realised 2012 is ending and it suddenly dawns on me that my friend's daughter will be 3 soon. 

I can still remember how tiny she used to be at birth, cute eyes, little fingers and all of a sudden she has grown to become a little toddler.

People often refer to these precious little 2-year olds - terrible twos, because as I come to understand, they can be quite terrible human beings, horrible at that age.  

I was just joking, no they are not!  I think they are just discovering their personality at this stage.  The bad news is, depending on the personality they are choosing, they can become "Troublesome Three" the following year and remain troublesome for their whole lives!  Kidding again.  

I think calling them terrible twos is just an excuse for parents because each time their kids misbehave, they can just shrug it off and say "Oh Terrible Twos". 

Wouldn't it be great if we adults can have that sort of excuse too.  Say you were fighting with your partner in a restaurant and you turn to the waiter and go "Fussy Thirty-Twos"!

I can never quite understand Sweet Sixteen either.  Not sure many parents would agree their kids are exactly - sweet - at that age.  My 16 was donky years ago but I can't recall anything rebellious in my then existence, but looking at my auntie's son at dinner time, I really think the 16 year old these days should be genetically called:

"Texting-tweeting-no-I-won't-pull-my-ear-plug-out-of-my-iPod-during-dinner-I-hate-you-I-wish-I-was-never-borned-by-the-way-can-I-have-some-cash-cuz-I-have-used-up-my-cash-advances-sixteen". 

The name is a bit long but there you go. 
 

Became Member of the Serving Class

My love affair with coffee began years ago and over time, I must have drank gallons, spent hundreds of minutes waited in lines just for the taste of my love.  

And for the first time in my life, I was standing on the other side of the bar, serving coffee.  Real coffee.

An exhausting job on a busy day as you can imagine, I discovered there is actually something meditative about coffee brewing process that I enjoy almost as much as the coffee itself.  

The rhythm of the grinding of beans, the sound of the running water, the slow-dripping of an espresso shot, the formation of a soothing layer of crema and then the wait - watching the bloom of latte art, smelling the aroma released.  Each step in the ritual helps awaken and calm me. 

I appreciated the easy way my friends and family have taken to the idea of me working in a cafe, and the positive way some greeted the discovery.  

Every sip of my two to four cups of daily coffee has reminded me of the luck, the fate, the fortune of myself having the sheer chance to engage in this leisurely business.  A new chapter of life for me that has so far, widened my horizon, a platform where I have met people from different walks of life over a simple connection of - coffee!